If- by Rudyard Kipling

Writing, to me, is a way to experience life through another lens.  I push my characters to the brink of disaster and then allow them to fall over the edge.  Why? Because I want to know how they react. Under that, I want to know how I might react if I were them and then measure it against what I feel would be true for me in the same situation.  Of course, inherent in writing fiction and probably in examining our own lives and comparing them to someone else's is that false sense of self. Sometimes we can't see our own faults, and we don't recognize our own blessings. With that in mind, I'll leave you with the words of Rudyard Kipling, and the encouragement to build scenes that test your characters' morals and their dreams of leading meaningful lives.

If-

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Creating an Emotional Arc: Stages 5 - 8

Mirror mirror on the wall:
how to be the most inspiring kick-ass character of them all.

A lot of writers will end an emotional arc at stage 4, with the main character confronting and then defeating the mean evil dude, tag on a quick conclusion and call it a victory. An ending like this is exciting and something we know and anticipate as readers. It’s also a technique that’s handy for carrying your emotional arc through a book series until its resolution in the final installment. For more on stages 1-4, see my earlier post.


Using the Harry Potter books by way of example, I wasn’t particularly surprised about the endings in books 1-6, but I felt a large measure of satisfaction about them because good triumphed over evil. Still, something emotional was left unresolved, and I felt that emptiness both as a reader (and as a movie-goer) because Harry was a more tortured soul with each consecutive book in the series. J.K. Rowling finally and inevitably addresses Harry’s soul in book 7 when Harry is, at last, able to clear his emotional traumas so that healing can begin. We know Harry’s been able to heal because at last he is confident and his personal boundaries are solid when he stands on the platform and waves goodbye to his children aboard the Hogwarts Express.


As difficult as it is to leave Harry Potter aside, let’s pick up where we left off running through the 8 stages in clearing emotional trauma. (1) Something happened that (2) angers our character and makes her feel threatened, so she (3) takes her anger out on other people – blaming them, because if it weren’t for them she wouldn’t feel like she does now. (4) She gets so angry that she works up the courage to confront the person who did her wrong and battles them. Maybe she raises her voice, maybe she swears, maybe she even goes ninja on the villain! Now the dust settles and she’s standing amid the aftermath of stage 4. Where does she go from here?

5. Finding the mirror

Up until now, our character’s anger has motivated her to seek retribution and justice. Her most natural human reaction now would be to justify her actions by believing that she’s right, that she’s in the right, that she has the right, that the other is just plain wrong. She's trounced the villain and now some might already call her a hero, but not me. I want her to inspire our readers, so we dare her to reach stage five and look beyond her own self and consider that the villain may not be a one-dimensional evil force but rather a more complex character with his own set of values and fears. Before I'll call her a hero, she needs to learn from this experience and bring back some wisdom. 


She’s ready to learn. Now that she’s released the pressure valve on her anger, she is calm enough to engage in some logical and perceptive thinking. She pulls in the reigns on blaming and projection and begins to see how she may have co-created the situation.


She notices the chink in the villain’s armor, a whisper of his vulnerability. And now our character flexes her maturity muscles because rather than take advantage of the villain’s vulnerability, your character begins to wonder why the villain acts the way he does. She wonders if the villain is afraid of something and then discovers what that fear is. She explores why the villain might fear that something, and what his belief is about it. Soon she sees that the villain believes something false, and that false belief creates a fear that compels the villain to act out to protect himself or something or someone he cares about.


Can you see why most characters screech to a halt before they’ve reached stage 5?  Finding the mirror is hard! Finding the mirror requires a certain amount of psychological and emotional maturity from your character. She must be able to look for the life lesson in what happened and begin to appreciate the role the villain played in teaching her that lesson.


**NOTE: In exploring this stage of finding the mirror, you might notice that your character has sadistic fantasies about exploiting the villain’s vulnerabilities and finding sick and depraved ways to cause the villain further pain and suffering. This fantasy behavior is Totally. Perfectly. Natural.  Enjoy it and move on.

6. Recognizing the reflection

If you’re like me, then your life is basically a soundtrack. Memories and ideas stir up lyrics to songs. The song evoked at this stage 6 of emotional clearing is a no-brainer. Before you start moonwalking and waving around a sequined glove, take a moment to appreciate that something magical happens before that Michael Jackson “Man in the Mirror” moment.



Maybe your character sees the villain as selfish, quick-tempered, untrustworthy, or manipulative. Superimposing their reflections, your character has the opportunity to see that the villain is reflecting or mirroring back an aspect of herself. She too can be selfish, quick-tempered, untrustworthy, or manipulative. I'll go so far as to call her a hero if she can now sees that she has done the same thing that she judged the villain for doing. 


Powerful, eh?  Damn straight.  Wait, there’s more. When your character’s anger crumbles it brings a delightful chaser of empathy and sadness because she understands first-hand, the fear that drives both her and the villain to that behavior.


Sit with that a moment.  Your character the hero looks in the mirror and sees the villain and her own image superimposed. Your hero and your villain are one and the same. Chilling.  If you’re inclined to write like Edgar Allen Poe, maybe you want to stop here. Let your character suffer a mental breakdown, convincing herself that she will never ever get out of this endless loop of pain.  Allow her to be haunted by the sound of her own beating heart.

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." ~ Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)

Or, you can move on to stage 7. 

7. Forgiveness

If your character is anything like me, I’m basically in shock in stage 6 when I see how the villain is mirroring back my own bad behavior. Then I move into feeling awful about myself at the start of stage 7. Now, the only thing that’s going to see me through and inspire others to take this journey is finding my way to forgiveness. Here’s how it’s done.


In stage 6, your character is staring at herself and the villain superimposed in the mirror and she’s seeing that they’re both afraid of something and it caused both of them to act out in a similar manner. Whatever the behavior is that is reflected back to her, it is one that ultimately is motivated by fear. It’s time for your character to do some exploring into her psyche.


Her next step is to ask, “What am I afraid of?” Let her spill her guts and talk about all the things she’s afraid of. A pattern will emerge that will point to a common theme in the things she says about herself, others, and the world.


This theme highlights your character’s false core belief. It developed over time, usually from childhood and is influenced by significant life events and particular life circumstances. A core belief is always an “I” statement, as in “I am unworthy.” She will hold onto this core-belief with a vise grip. A belief “Nobody will choose me” is called a supporting belief and it is a prediction about what others will do or have done. Her way of interpreting other people’s reactions gives the core belief the appearance of being true and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Your character is going to recognize how she has self-sabotaged by focusing on information that supports her belief and ignoring evidence that contradicts it. More, she is going to realize that her (and the villain’s) core belief is false and she is going to begin to understand and forgive herself for acting out in defense of that untrue core belief.

8. Letting go & moving on

No surprise, core beliefs are hard to change. However, your character kicks ass and she’s going to do just that. She’s made it through 7 difficult stages of clearing her emotional trauma and she is not about to backslide now. She is going to shatter the illusion of the core belief and uncover the truth, which will be a statement completely opposite from her false core belief; in this instance, “I am unworthy” shifts to “I am worthy.” And she’ll reinforce this new positive core belief with evidence and information.


At this point, there’s a tangible shift. All those emotions your character felt, the anger, pain, blame, empathy and sadness transmute to appreciation and gratitude for the villain. Realizing the powerful gift brought by the villain in this encounter, your character can at last release him. She may even feel compassion for the villain and be able to apologize and validate his pain.


Now, when your character looks in the mirror, the glass is clear and she sees only herself. True, strong, wise. Totally worthy. Mirror mirror on the wall, she is the most inspiring kick-ass character of them all.  Seriously!  She’s cleared emotional trauma. The conflict is over.


Bonus – there’s more trust in her relationships because she’s able to work through conflicts when they arise rather than run away.

Summary

So, there you have it. Three blogs and an exercise giving you my take on creating an emotional arc using anger. In case you missed my first post, here are the eight stages in one handy list: 

The 8 Stages

1. The smoking gun

2. Anger

3. Projection and blaming

4. Expressing anger and releasing pain

5. Finding the mirror

6. Recognizing the reflection

7. Forgiveness

8. Letting go and moving on

Most of the time, we go through these stages intuitively. These are the times when the smoking gun isn't aimed at us, or it misses its target, or our shields are solid enough to protect us. Other times, the bullet hits its target and we are hurt enough to get angry. 

Anger is an energetic signal that you are ready to make a change. How you want to make that change is a mental decision. It involves calculating the variables between changing the other person (doesn't work), changing the situation (might work), or changing something about yourself (worth a try).  

When a person in real-life or a character in a novel is brave enough to work through their anger and change a core belief about themselves they are, in my opinion, the most inspiring kick-ass character of them all.

Let me know what you think about this post series, and if there are other ideas you’d like to explore with me. I’d love to hear from you!

Creating a Character's Emotional Arc: in stages 1 - 4

Imagine how excited I was to learn that my years of training in energy medicine and psychology could actually help me construct a fictional character’s emotional arc!  Now quadruple that and add a cherry on top because when I think about the ripple effect and how relaying this info on to you and how you can use it to reach your readers, I’m over the moon with excitement and gratitude.  


We’ve arrived at the fun part, where we see how to create a character’s emotional arc.  Let’s get to it. We’ll start with stages 1 through 4.

1. The smoking gun
Picture a smoking gun in your mind and chances are you’ll sense something sinister is afoot. Smoking guns indicate that someone violated a personal boundary or an agreement on how they are expected to behave around you. In writing, we call this threat or danger “the inciting incident.”


2. Anger  Biologically speaking, our bodies react to a perceived threat or danger by releasing certain hormones like adrenalin and cortisol, speeding our heart rate and increasing blood pressure, slowing digestion, increasing blood flow to major muscle groups and adjusting other autonomic nervous functions in order to give our bodies a burst of energy and strength.

Emotionally, the inciting incident triggers anger. Anger may be hard to recognize beneath the layers of anxiety, self-pity and sadness, but it’s there and your character will need to use that anger as a driving force to move through to the next stage. 


Finding the anger can be difficult because by culture or by nature, a lot of people don't allow themselves to get angry. They feel uncomfortable or even go so far as to believe they have no right to their anger. Are you one of them? Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to fume in order for our characters to do the same. 


Look for clues to your character's anger. If you find her saying something like, “It’s not worth getting upset over,” that's a clear indication that she is stuffing her anger. Other indications are typical behavioral responses to the threat. Males typically respond with fight (aggression) or flight (social withdrawal, substance abuse), while females typically respond by protecting to their children, if they have any, and by seeking social support in groups. But hey, it’s your novel. Who’s to say that your character must conform to these typical roles? 


Just remember that at this stage your character does not want to be nice, she wants to be ANGRY.


3. Projection and Blaming
Now that your character is good and angry, go ahead and let her blame someone for causing her to feel that way. Not taking responsibility for our own feelings is called projecting. Many people project and blame out of earshot, but never confront the person with whom they are upset. It’s easy to see why. Most people would think twice about expressing their anger to the person holding a smoking gun.


4. Expressing anger and releasing pain
Your character has finally surmounted the obstacles of stages 1, 2 and 3. A round of applause is in order because it takes courage to make it this far.  You’ve reached the turning point in your novel. This is the step where your character expresses her anger toward the transgressor, the villain, the mean and evil dude, and finally stands up for herself. This is when your reader is anticipating a smack down and it is a cause for celebration.

How your character stands up for herself, depends on the intensity of the boundary violation and the inciting smoking gun incident. Mild violations may require just speaking up about it. Stronger violations, the kind that elicit reader response, may entail speaking up plus throwing in a few choice cuss words for good measure, dammit!

But what if your character is not willing to scold the mean and evil dude? Totally not surprising. Most people feel pretty weak when it comes to expressing their anger. Ultimately though, suppressing anger is futile. Unexpressed anger is toxic and your character will find a way to release it. Instead of confronting the evil dude, you might find your character turning anger inward against herself, or letting it out sideways by lashing out at the innocent, or even taking a circuitous route by engaging in passive aggressive behavior against the perpetrator. How your character manages her anger might violate personal boundaries and agreements and trigger an angry response from someone else. And yes, you can count me in among the wicked and wily scumbling my fingers and sneering, “Mwah ha haaaa!” because this kind of tension triggers subplots.  


But remember, if your goal is an emotionally rewarding ending, suppressing anger is not ultimately the answer. Your character must express her anger directly in order to release the pain.

A lot of writers will stop here, either subconsciously or purposefully, with the main character confronting and then defeating the mean evil dude followed by a quick conclusion, and call it a victory. 


How easy is it for you to express your anger? Do you confront the transgressor or does your anger come out in other ways? Are you uncomfortable at any point? Where is your sticking point? 

Inspire Your Readers: Emotions

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-- Robert Frost

I thank my high school English teacher, Mr. Hancock, for introducing me to that poem and others by Robert Frost. I loved that poem then, because I thought I really “got” what Frost was saying about himself and making decisions. Even back then, people labeled me a decisive person, probably because I frequently went with my gut feelings. But what those people didn't see was that on the inside I was jelly - constantly questioning whether I made the right choice. Did I choose the right classes? The right extracurriculars? The right friends? The right clothing? Big decisions, little decisions, any one of them could change the course of my history. Robert Frost and I were simpatico. We had an understanding. I could relate to him standing there in the woods wondering which path to take.

But now, after a half a life of learning and reflection, I read that poem and I know Frost understood me. And you. And the neighbor down the street. And that little kid sitting on the corner begging you to buy a pack of gum in some third-world country. I know this because really great writers like Frost look inward to see outward. They have an ability to express their soul's journey and relate it to the journey of all souls.

The challenge and gift of talented writing is to let the reader know they're not alone in their emotional experience of a challenge or conflict, whether it's making a decision that might lead to regret or working through a conflict. Inspirational writing, blatant or subtle, has the additional task of helping us clear our emotional wounds. It's my belief that this holds true for both fiction and non-fiction writing.

Whether the author is conscious of it or not, great writing (a character driven novel, for example) is doing just that - clearing emotional wounds. For some writers, this journey from conflict to resolution is intuitive. For others, it's not so easy. Why? Because most of us have never been taught how to clear negative emotions from our bodies, and it's no easy task to write about something we don't know how to do ourselves in our daily lives.

Why is it important to clear negative emotions? I'm going to take advantage of my winding paths of education to impart some hard-earned knowledge that solidified during my three-year training as a Certified Energy Medicine Practitioner. When a conflict is left unresolved, we harbor negative emotions and create imbalances in our energetic layers. In our physical bodies, imbalances can lead to illness and disease. In our mental bodies, imbalances can create frustration, anxiety, depression, and associated disturbances. Emotionally, imbalances can result in acting out destructively, directly by becoming enraged, or indirectly through passive-aggressive behaviors. All of these imbalances can challenge and even be destructive in our relationships, both with ourselves and with others. And frankly, negative emotions can be plain exhausting if they're not cleared.

Your mind might be trying to block this information right now. There are certainly times when mine does. My internal voice (aka, my inner child) is fond of whining. And when I write and I'm trying to dig deep into my characters, they whine even more loudly, "You want me to face my emotions? It's too hard! Why do the process work when I've already learned to ignore and bury all that pain?" Hearing that voice is when I remember this nugget of wisdom that came to me in story form during meditation....

Simply dressed in a white robe and sandals, balancing sacks of clothing strung on either end of a thick bamboo pole, I was a washerwoman standing at the bottom of a vast stairway in Tibet yearning for the wisdom of the cleric above. I started to climb. 

At first, I could easily balance the weight across across my shoulders. I was used to long days of shouldering other people's dirty laundry. As I climbed further though, my neck and shoulders grew hot and sore. Further still, I found my steps slowing and now even my legs and feet ached. Half-way up, I rested. I sat on a wide plateau, wiping the sweat from my brow and considering whether to continue my climb. 

The cleric in his saffron and brick-red robes smiled at me. Encouraged, I once again shouldered my burden and forced myself to continue. Now the pole dug into my neck and my back hunched over. I pushed myself to continue even though I hurt and my burden was almost more than I could bear. I was a washerwoman. These dirty clothes were my responsibility. I would not leave them behind. 

But almost at the top, I found I was too weary to take another step. I un-shouldered the pole and let the clothing drop, but even without the extra weight, I was so worn out that I struggled to continue the few remaining steps. 

At last, I faced the cleric, who was at once old and young, male and female. He laughed at me. Why would he laugh at my efforts? I was confused. I became indignant. My anger turned inward. I admonished myself for wasting my time and effort on the climb and for abandoning the baggage that other people had entrusted me with. Then I felt angry toward the cleric.

"You present me with a difficult task and then laugh at the foolishness of my undertaking? I came for your wisdom."

The cleric's eyes twinkled. "I will tell you what you already know. You could have left your burdens at the bottom of the stairs." 

Only then, looking back at the pile of laundry I had abandoned below, did I feel the burden truly lift from my shoulders. Only then, could I look back and laugh.

Next up, a technique to clear emotional baggage.